we need coffee bars...

we need coffee bars...

If you're a coffee person, as I pretend to be, then Forest Hills is severely lacking. The pickings are slim, folks. Coffee, in it's most Sanka form, can be had anywhere. But there's a difference between a restaurant that sells coffee and a real coffee bar. And sure, I can always grab a cup of joe to go at a diner but that's just giving up.

Sadly, as of my writing this, there is no independent coffee bar in Forest Hills. Not that I know of. No place like THIS, where you can go in and sit for hours and read the paper, chat with friends, listen to Asobi Seksu playing dimly overhead, and being able to relax and forget the stress of the day. Park Slope has 'em. Williamsburg has 'em. But we don't? It shouldn't be the kind of thing to royally piss me off. And yet...

Coffee bars rarely open here, and when they do, bad luck or a bad follow-through seems to bring them down. When I first moved in, there was a shmancy and impressive place with dozens of loose teas, coffees, desserts and truly horrid service called Modus. Then came Munch; more casual, free wifi, a loyal fanbase, cushy chairs and, apparently, a landlord they fought with all the time. The latest was Sonoma Coffee Cafe, a chain with locations in 12 states. It opened last year on Queens Boulevard and was so underwhelming that that I wasn't surprised in the slightest when they shuttered this year.

Starbucks is the closest thing we've got, and I'm not Starbucks-hater. I just really really really like variety. We have four and it's not enough. The one on Continental is so small that someone should put an "express" sign under the logo. You can forget about trying to get a seat at the others. Say a prayer, cross yourself, burn some incense; only God himself can grant you one if you aren't willing to wait a half hour. I even went so far as to email the district manager of Queens asking her why the seats and tables that have been taken away aren't being replaced. The Austin Street one loses a table every four or five months, it seems. She very pleasantly told that there are a lot of bureaucratic loops to go through that have to be considered... of course there are. How silly of me.

Further away is the Seattle's Best Cafe (which is owned by Starbucks) at the Borders at Atlas Park, or Esparks on the corner of Metropolitan and Cooper. But they're quite a shlep by anyone's standards unless you drive, which you shouldn't have to do.

Some people might be thinking right now "what about Dunkin Donuts?" Well, that coffee is awful. America only runs on Dunkin because it's probably half diesel fuel. As for those of you about to suggest McDonalds, I want you to sit in the corner and think about that in silence. Shame on you.

So what are we gonna do? Well, I'm going to write a letter to Caribou Coffee and tell them that their first NY location should be us. And if any of you were thinking of opening a real coffee bar, with hipster baristas, custom espressos, good music (better yet, no music), old sofas, local artwork for sale on the wall, and a menu that doesn't overextend itself by going beyond offering cakes, muffins and cookies, then please please please do so. You have at least one guaranteed customer.